I am sorry to hear about your sitch. It sounds like you are doing good things to take care of yourself and to handle the storm. Moving his stuff into another room was very good.
One idea would be to take a financial snapshot now or soon, establishing the status of things. You may also want to take snapshots of things, if divvying them up becomes relevant.
Also, though I may seem like a broken record, your H sounds like he could use going to EE. I think it will give him some clarity. Lots of the folks there were around 50, so I think he would feel comfortable.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
