Today is day 2 of the "thinking week", and me being dark. After the necessary exchange yesterday, I was completely dark. W has been very huggy, talked about us being together, said she wants to make sure she is doing the right thing. I kept my step-kids last night until S5 wanted to go home (W got him a new Marvel superheros bed), so I took him back. I walked in, set his stuff down, said "bye", and walked out.
This morning she texted me several times, then called me like 9 times in a row - I was at our local outdoor market and didn't hear my phone - so she ranted and raved about me being available. I checked when I got back to my car, and calmly called her and said my phone was on vibrate in my pocket, and I couldn't hear it, and what did she need? I dropped off D10, and handed W some stuff S5 forgot, and told her D10 has leftovers. I then got back in my car, and left. As I was pulling away, she asked, "What's wrong with you?" I didn't bother to respond; it's funny how they want time and space, but then when you're all business, something must be wrong.
It feels good to be dark. Unfortunately, it allows me to reflect on the true nature of how things are, and makes me more and more angry. Just gotta pray and let it go.
