You have been changing. There will be pushback. Look inward and get clear in yourself. Focus on your strength. No compromise on that.
Remember that W's opinion is only her opinion. It is her job to make herself comfortable enough to sleep, not yours. The idea that it is something for you to consider is ludicrous. You are not violating any boundaries by insisting on sleeping upstairs (and even in the master bedroom). It is unreasonable of you to be doing otherwise.
The reasonable thing is to definitively state what you will be doing. The proper response to her objections is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." In a way that makes it clear that it is her problem to deal with and not yours.
I'm sorry for the pain, Luke. I'm sending you hugs. I'm seeing you in your red shirt and I'm seeing the fire in your eyes. Give yourself hugs and then follow the path of strength. Be confident that your path will get you through to where you need to be.
To put things in perspective, remember that nothing has changed. She is just making some noise in response to the changes you have been making. That's good. It means your changes have been noticeable. Ignore the noise and focus on what you need to do.
