I have to admit I sure would be tempted! And, as ridiculous and one-sided her sight gets, you may have to say or do something to assist her in focusing on the fact she made the chice to leave and she can't have EVERYTHING her way all the time. We usually practice telling the LBS that it is not his job to punish the WAS. However, (and depending on the individual stitch), I personally believe the WAW needs to realize the consequences of her choices.
As already stated, your W is very immature in ways, but she knows how to work you for her own good. She knows just the right words to throw up to you to feel guilty enough to give in to whatever she wants. If you don't feel sorry for her, or she can't entice you sexually (including jealousy), she uses the kids to get her way. You are the only one who can teach her that it no longer works.
Think before you say something and then reget it, or worse......have to take it back. For example, if you told her you wanted the boys three weekends out of four, you shouldn't have added that part in the response. Even though I gave you those words, always check to see the facts are correct. She will try to call your hand on that remark, but she'll still come around b/c she doesn't want to be tied down with them over the weekends.
It is Friday here, and I am wondering what you are going to do about the boys this weekend. Were you previously scheduled to go get them tonight?
Btw, remember me telling you how a lot of mothers have a rougher time with their children (due to health problems, special needs, etc.)? LTH is an example. I am glad she brought it up.
Oh, and you asked about responding to her rage or ignoring it. What have you done in the recent past months that you could see more successful than other times? I understand it's very difficult not to respond, but if you cannot stay in control of your own feelings, try to at least give it some time. No, you don't want to give the impression you are cowing down, but neither do you want her to know she can get you worked up. That is giving control over to her.
I have the kids. i texted her to ask if she got my email just after I got home. I never saw her I picked them up at her parents.
You are correct on the 3 weeks out of 4. Surely that completely blows my leverage does it not?
There are two here: -------------------- Hi,
Go to this website that compares different insurance companies: blahblah.com Any questions you can't answer let me know and I will do my best to advise.
It was your choice to be a single mother. What were you expecting? My job isn't like is was a few years ago where I could just coast along, I'm busy all day every day. It doesn't make sense for me to leave work half way through the day while you and the kids wait for me to turn up, you could be bringing them here. I'm not asking for half, I'm asking for two journeys a month. I will keep doing the rest. I will also supply the fuel for your car. -------------------- or -------------------- Hi,
Go to this website that compares different insurance companies: blahblah.com Any questions you can't answer let me know and I will do my best to advise.
I'm not asking for half, I'm asking for two journeys a month. I will keep doing the rest. I will also supply the fuel for your car. --------------------
The first one sounds really punitive and should probably be held back until if the 2nd one fails to make a dent.
I think if she gets abusive I will just state I will not discuss anything with her if she uses that tone or language. I won't try and defend my position. If I have learned anything this week it is we both think we are right, arguing with her won't change her mind no matter how convincing or accurate my argument.
I think she will also bring up the "kids want to see you more" again. I plan to answer that with regular brief Skype contact for the time being. The most important time to have the contact is in between the weekend I don't have them. Ideally I don't want to ignore the comments about the kids wanting to see me more. They might be partly fabricated for her cause but I shouldn't ignore it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
