Sorry T1000. I seriously don't know what I am going to do if the transfer doesn't happen. I will put it this way. When we apply for a transfer, we have to have completed our minimum 3 years in the country. Done. It then depends on positions available in my field of work (PE) and region I wish to go to. When I put my request in, I also have to write up to 500 words, why I want the transfer. I wrote that due to my marriage separation, I need to move for my sons, who have no parents with them. I need to move back into my house for stability, for my sons and me. I also wrote that being in the country without my support of family and friends is very hard. On top of this the principal also write something. My principal wrote that due to the separation, I haven't had any issues relating to my work, but if he continues to stay in the country without his support network, this could cause issues at work. The transfer is then viewed as a compassionate transfer, ie. more priority than a normal request. HR rang a few weeks ago, saying that transferring into my field of work (PE) is getting harder in my area I was originally working. Would I like to take up another field or region. I replied, that after going to University for 4 years to become a PE teacher I do not want to change my teaching field. I have no interest in being a classroom teacher. Also I am not prepared to change my region, which could result in being no where near my home. Our regions can cover up to 100klms radius or more. The issue isn't that there is no jobs available this year, but they cannot guarantee if I stayed in the country for one more year there would be a job available, or 10 years. The frustration of this, is we as teachers, are told, that if we do our country service then we get to come back to a job close to our home. My W and I hummed and aaarged over this so much before we were forced to go. Both of us were close to leaving our jobs, since we did not want to do this.
What is my plan if the transfer doesn't go through? I seriously don't know. I really worry that it will affect me so much, that I will make rash decisions. I don't know if after the Christmas holidays (6 weeks long) that I will have the motivation or desire to come back. I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep the PMA going.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Wow! you get 6 weeks off for Christmas? Do you get the same for the summer hols as well or is that much shorter? Sorry to change the subject Hope you manage to keep up the PMA Have you got the book yet that you ordered? That may help
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
TTD180. Book hasn't arrived yet. The 6 weeks is our summer holidays. We then get 2 weeks break during the end of each term. About 12 weeks all up each year.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
What is my plan if the transfer doesn't go through? I seriously don't know. I really worry that it will affect me so much, that I will make rash decisions. I don't know if after the Christmas holidays (6 weeks long) that I will have the motivation or desire to come back. I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep the PMA going.
I really think you need to start addressing this now. Start accepting that this could be your next step (staying put and coping). Make it part of your daily thoughts. You can't control what is going to happen (our sitches are evidence of that) but you can be the best you can be in that situation. The HWA you want to be...what would he do if the transfer didn't happen.
Don't get down about that question. Put yourself in HWA 8.0's shoes and give it a whirl, what would he do. What would ultimate HWA do???
Change job? Teach in classroom? ...............?? ...............?? ...............??
Think about it for a while. Let it go then sleep on it. Tell me tomorrow or the day after.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Sorry HWA, I forgot that Christmas is your summer lol, barbies on the beach and all that Just kidding My cousin lives in Australia and she goes on about spring cleaning when we're getting ready to cosy up for evenings inside, heating on and wrapped in fleeces watching back to back TV, lol. I should imagine though there'll be a bit more going on in your place over the hols. There's always loads going on here
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
T1000, I have been thinking about the transfer not happening for quite a while. And I know I cannot control the situation, that is accepted. But I have and still continue to look at my life and what needs to be done if I don't transfer. If I don't transfer: Negatives: * Struggle to live with the flatmate that has been moved here. No big issues, but he is a very demanding, always right type of person who jumps into conversations and and I am always wrong. * I will need to decide and do something about all our (W and I)furniture in this place. The flatmate doesn't want the whole house and garage stockpiled with my stuff as he is entitled to half his share of the house. Fair call, just cannot do anything about my belongings due to the solicitor. Not to mention I really don't want to sell anything, I want to keep it for when I move home. It would be a major struggle to store the belongings (again, being a mining town, everything is exaggerated pricing). I also could not afford to move out of the government house, due to high rents, again because of the mining prices. I pay $85 per fortnight, minimum rent on a 2 bedroom townhouse is around $500 per week. * I will still have the holidays only to see my boys, and my only form of accommodation is with my Mum, in the tiny 2 bedroom retirement village. * I still cannot guarantee or get confirmation of how long I could be here. * I would still see the W at times ie bump into her.
Positives: * I have a job and a wage coming in. A job in the field I want to do. * I have cheap rent, that allows me to pay the mortgage and bills easier. * I am still in the same area as the W. * It will allow me to be able to have more of a getting away holiday, when I get my holidays. ie. go overseas * If I still have the house/investment property, it will allow me to pay them off a bit quicker.
TTD180, won't be much going on at my place in the holidays, unless I move back into my place. All of our previous holiday stuff has been at the MIL or SIL place while we were down on holidays. Since I will be staying at my mum's, there is no room for much visiting and both boys really don't like to visit her. No real issues, she just wasn't a big part of their growing up, so they don't make her a big part of their life. I cannot visit the boys, as the youngest stays with the SIL and the oldest is in share accommodation and is rarely there, he is also at the SIL's a lot. If I move back, I will be planning a lot of going on stuff.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Changing the subject as I do, I often wish that we had a longer holiday at Christmas and shorten the summer holiday. Christmas is too short, there's so much to plan, food shopping and present shopping to do, parcels to wrap, cards to write, parcels and cards to send out. After Christmas, the place looks like a bombs hit it and there not enough time to tidy it up before I go back to college. I still have presents lying about when Easter comes, lol. We tend to hibernate anyway over the Christmas hols. I'm sure this year will be different though, I don't know what I'll be doing! Me and my son might even go out for a meal or one of my friends might invite us over Anyway enough talk about Christmas, some people I know have already been shopping for presents and they've started putting the Christmas stock out in the shops! It's too early! Anyway, I just wanted to lighten the mood here As I said to you before, whatever happens it was meant to be
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
