Two Roads Diverged In a Yellow Wood... Part 2

[chasingpavements]

H stopped by for a few hours today and I set up a few boundaries with him. I basically don't want to feel like he is coming and going as he pleases, without letting me know. I only want to deal with him in regards to finances and the children. I don't like the feeling of him hanging around the house, tinkering around, showering, doing laundry, etc. I think he can do that elsewhere. Are those reasonable requests??? Please let me know. I felt like I was being hard on him, but I think that had to be said.

He looked so lost today at the house, he looked really troubled. I can tell this is hard on him. I asked him if he was ok and he said no. I have never seen him this way before, he is usually not a very emotional person, for example I have never seen him cry in 13 years. Today it looked as if he were about to cry.

He is taking the kids for the weekend to go see his side of the family for a visit. We worked it out he will take them for the weekend and then one night during the week I will leave for a few hours so he can be at the house with them, and one other night he will come pick up the kids and do something with them for a few hours. Seems reasonable?

Now comes the issue of when to tell the children.. in the van today the kids kept saying 'why does mom never get to come with us?'. That was painful to hear. I told them I have a soccer party. They seemed to take that excuse, but I want them to know the truth soon, as we can't keep lying to them.