I think they do have "windows of clarity" every now and then through this, and they know what they are doing is wrong, but as said here, and implied by what W didn't say (lol!)...is they can't stop themselves. Driven by very, very deep wounds/needs.
For me, my own self-interest included, I cannot see how W's feeling guilty, remorse, etc, to the extent that I know she is capable of historically, can help me reach my goal of new R. I know it is there, and I wonder if that might have been contributing to her hesitating...after all, I can't imagine having to "return" after all this, worried that spouse was going to hold this time and actions over my head for the rest of life...
So I can't hang onto it, for me. That is just what works for me...I always have been pretty good at letting go and moving from things in other areas, and that is what I am feeling now. Maybe the "clean slate" text helped break that fear barrier some, reassured her that there will be no constant reminder/reference back to what she did, that she was truly forgiven, and my actions have matched those words for quite some time now...and who would even begin to want to live and be married with that reminder imposed by their spouse?
Not me.
Lol, sorry for the stream of consciousness post, guess I am talking out loud here today, fitting the pieces together... busy Friday in nerd land...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
