He is being calm and yes, I validated UNTIL he said he was trying to be fair because it would work to my advantage... Well I saw this as being condescending... so against all rules I learned here, I backslid...
I told him that he could not speak to me like I could not understand and that unlike him, I was faithful, loyal, and committed. He was quiet and then said that he could never talk to me because I was always combative...
That is NOT a backslide! You showed some backbone, you calmly let him know he can't just push you around or treat you like a kid!! You did GREAT!
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Well, I did not yell, or call him names (unlike him towards me). I said we were both adults and should begin interacting that way. I said that I was sorry for his unhappiness and if there were something that I could do as his friend (not his wife) to change it, I would do.
Really, this is great stuff! You remained calm, you were firm and direct with him, and you even did some validating (sorry for his unhappiness). This is exactly what you should strive for in ALL your convo's with him!
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I ended the conversation because I felt as though I did our M and me a disservice in just saying anything or "confronting", but I was exhausted by how he treated me.
Nooooooo, you didn't do anything wrong! You established some boundaries- you let him know you're not just going to roll over whenever he wants to be nasty. Well done!
