"Is there some way to lighten up?"

Yes. But not talking to your W as if "impending doom is waiting".

That's not how she sees it. She sees it as a time of freedom away from a jail sentence of misery. How are you going to change that?

"I don't think an R talk makes sense, but how to loosen the heavy burden?"

Of course not. You have read DR right? You are going to have to learn how to communicate again with her. It's not something we can teach you. Just think back to when you were dating and more adventurous. You weren't so scared of saying anything. Be the same.

Stop being afraid.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER