CP, sorry to hear of your sitch like this. I agree with setting up the rules of a separation, which in my mind does not include your H coming/going as he pleases. He moved out, he no longer lives there. Period. He should be able to see the kids, you and H need to discuss a schedule. When he sees the kids, it's not in the house that he left. It's in his place, or if he has no place then wherever he takes them.
I don't believe in throwing out the spouse's stuff, but discuss when he'll have all his clothes out. Where he puts them is his problem. Other stuff can all be relocated to a separate room, the garage, or basement.
Also, definitely get a lawyer to see your rights. Probably more complicated then you think. Also, all income is split, even overtime.
