In all honesty, I think it actually might help the situation thou. Theres never been the "what am I missing" time, this might be just what the dr. ordered.
Let him discover on his own. Sometimes that's just what needs to happen for them to understand. My IC just read me a study that says, couples that separate actually do better than couples that stay together and try to work it out.
I don't see anything wrong boundaries, in fact I think there essential. I also think its important, for you, to move his stuff out of your bedroom, if it gives you anxiety, then get it out. Maybe move the furniture around, paint it a new color, just DONT treat it like a cave that you rarely venture out of.
I know we're not supposed to mind read, or project our reasoning. But I think both of you made some progress during the last couple of months. Its a start, now he needs to see what the other side looks like for a little bit, I don't think its what he thinks it will be. But he needs to find out. I know my wife, and I know its taken a few months, is finding that out now.
Only you know when your done, its ok to be frustrated that its still not happening fast enough. You cant speed up the process. And only you can end it. I know it feels like its all falling apart right now, but I have to tell you, its just the beginning of something new, either way. Your really going to be able to detach, your really going to see things differently as your not so close to the sitch. Its almost enlightening. Your finally going to get a break from trying to be perfect around him and the pressure that goes with that.
You've been doing all the heavy lifting, helping him face his demons, trying to hold his hand thinking it was helping. Its time he finds what he thinks he wants to know. You'll be surprised too I think, and you'll know what I mean after a month.
