Sorry your having to deal with the spewing. It does sound like pretty typical script stuff, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with of course. How long does the divorce take in your state? does it also count as a legal separation until processed?
I think the hardest part about this stage, is that your thinking straight. Trying to make sense of whats happening and its effects. Its obvious they cannot do that, they think pushing will just get them the answers faster......little do they know the damage their doing, especially with the kids.
I know it feels like your already doing all the heavy lifting, is there a way, at least for now, that you can limit interactions between the two of you down to the absolute bare minimum. She thinks she's in total control, the only thing you can do, is take the control out of her hands thru intermediates. Don't let her escalate things with you, as its not helping a thing anyways. I know she's pushing the divorce right now, but how about getting with the lawyers and figuring out a legal separation that will handle the kids time, so you can do things without having to ask her what dates are available? and she can keep blocking you. She has a lot of power over your schedule for someone wanting to divorce you. Are there no ground rules in place? Don't do this to retaliate, but to protect yourself.
Anyways, sorry for just jumping in, some of those ideas might come off as a reverse control, and that's not what I mean. Its a slippery slope for sure.
