14th Thread to Somewhere Uncertainly

[Notlikingthis]

T, I like what I'm reading here with regard to your w's behavior! Rh makes some very important points. Each of our mlcers is different just as each of their journey's are different. The memories of what they've done and even how the LBS felt during their "absence" may be vivid to some while foggy to others. (My uneducated opinion is that the longer that they are in the tunnel the less they remember. Too much CO2 and not enough O.) How would you apologize or be remorseful for something that you don't specifically remember?

I haven't gotten that far in my thinking yet so I don't know what I want or need in that respect. I do recall something that my h said early on, albeit in mlc babble. He said, that if this doesn't work out with ow that he's NEVER going to allow this to happen again. I heard, "I can't control the need to be with her and I don't want to even if it's wrong." This was before Dbing and I responded with, "You are making a choice. You can walk away from this before it goes any further but you are choosing not to." He looked at me with the deer in the headlights look like I was speaking a foreign language. At the beginning of his journey he apologized for putting me through so much stress over his behavior and wondered why I put up with him. Whether he'll remember those comments, I don't know.

I think your w may have been in a similar place mentally. knowing and aware that what she is/was doing was wrong but knew that she needed to do as she was doing because she HAD to. And maybe they do, in order to move to the next stage.

Keep expectations low and PMA high! You're doing great with this T!!!!