Wife said she was done! House sold, Moving forward

[AnotherStander]

I have a fear of being alone.

One acronym for fear that I think is spot on is "False Evidence Appearing Real". When I think of all the things I've been afraid of over the years, they never came to pass. It was the things that weren't even on my radar that came up to bite me on the booty. Like my marriage, it was always my dependable rock to lean on while I worried about things like losing my job in the crappy economy. And yet my job is as solid as ever and my marriage is dead and gone. When I feel fear about something creeping in I just remind myself that the very things I fear rarely if ever happen, and strangely that gives me a sense of security that I don't need to be afraid of those things, LOL!

[Maritimer]

PM - I did start a hand written journal, it is also helping me brush up on my handwriting skills, something I never had to do in a while.

Time is a blessing and a curse right now. I need to be more patient as it seems my sitch has been going on for so long. I wish a psychic can tell me how this will turn out. Need to expand my social network. I boycotted FB as it just makes me feel worse.


AS - Im doing too much mind reading, and really if she is content with her new life why cant I be happy for her? I have to figure out this selfish act to become a better person & for me to heal.

I was in IC and was told that I have the tools and understanding for me to move forward successfully. At that time I was feeling better than I am now.. For some reason time has made me feel worse at the current moment.

One thing I am scared of would be getting on any SSRI's as I read too many horror stories about them & believe once my wife started with them she fell out of love with me. Its been raining all weekend so I never exercised in a few days and found that made me feel better.

I will read up on situational depression and look into what I can do about it. You have a strong successful personal case regarding you taking A/D and I really respect your opinions so I will look into this if I see it getting worse.

Thanks for all the help everyone!

[T1000]

Exercise is good for so don't let a bit of rain put you off. I go running when it's absolutely gushing down, yeah I get soaked but I find it actually adds to the achievement. Workout inside if you have to.

[Positivespin]

Count me in as a strong personal case for A/D

BUT: I strongly recommend getting a referral from your C to go to a psych. Almost every person I know who got a script from their family doc for A/D has gone badly......

If you do it do it right- get the psych especially if you feel weepy and lethargic all the time.....Thats the sign.

I still cry alot....im a sensitive, emotional, feeler type guy. I just chaulk it up to the abundant feelings of love I have within me.

but when you start feeling overwhelmed thats when you need to get professional help and medication - exercise helps ALOT but if your depressed you wont exercise.

(FAR too many self medicate :()

[Positivespin]

Yo maritimer where are you"................

I hate having the AD post and then the person falls off for a few weeks- its kind of scary.....

Update please

[T1000]

Yo maritimer where are you"................

I hate having the AD post and then the person falls off for a few weeks- its kind of scary.....

Update please

Not good is it, you say something to try and help someone and then tumbleweeds.

[Maritimer]

Sorry to make you worry guys, I am doing better. I dont go on the internet much very and found it made me feel better.

I really do appreciate the support. This forum has help me very much and I need to make more of an effort to pay it forward.

I am exercising more and it is making me feel so much better. I need to continue being active. It is my happy pill.

Seeing the boys more and she is letting me have them over to my place. Took my S1.5 on the bicycle for the first time and he loved it! So many giggles and smiles. Trying not to think about her and focus on me & my boys.

I have accepted that this is my new reality being a single father of 2 young boys. Not the life I had planed but need to make the best of it.

[T1000]

Good stuff Maritimer!

If staying off the internet helps stay off it and do what works for you right now. You do sound better.

[Maritimer]

I am on the high part of this roller coaster ride. My self confidence is rebuilding and my swimming lessons start tomorrow night.

It helped that I had my kids at my place for 2 days last weekend!

I do recognize that I do get envious when I read on FB or see a happy family playing together at the park, realizing I am now a single dad. It is a selfish, negative trait that I need to work on. No FB for 3 weeks now!

I read a great line on the forum today that really helped me identify my disappointment and resentment towards my W for not wanting to reconcile.

"W isn't my enemy. Bitterness, resentment, selfishness - these are my enemys, and the only action I can take is to pray for my W, and eradicate those things from my life."

[Pudmuddle]

Hi Maritimer,

I've read your posts and it seems like you have come a long way since you started posting. It may not feel like it, but I can see real progress in your attitude and your health.

My comment on why the W is short and curt with you and seems happy...She feels a need to reject you because she is struggling with feelings she still has. She is appearing happy because she is not sure why you are so happy and healthy. She thinks you should be devastated and crying and whining back to her. So Good for you! you are doing an excellent job at maintaining. I know it may not feel like it most days, with ups and downs of emotions, but you are doing just swell if you ask me!