You are correct, it is all about finding her identity, and she has to do that without any help from me. I sometimes think she would get through this faster if she did leave our home. But who knows what would happen then. Anyway, it's all up to her, I'm not pushing her out. (yet!)
MMF is no threat to me, W's told me plenty about him. I don't think she'd continue to tell me about someone she's interested in having a relationship with. He's 65, D twice (says he's tired of giving away houses ) ...plus I've seen his pic! Then again, I know my hot looking W has danced with him, and he is still a man... maybe reason enough for me to offer him a free TKD lesson?
"I think you are doing exactly the right things...GAL activities, self-confidence, aloof-yet-available, etc."
Thanks for this. I'm convinced this is the best course to take.
It's funny you mentioned H and his golf. Wife started running early on, and started crying once because she feared I might move in on her new activity.
"I'm constantly aware of the need for us to have these separate identities. It makes the M SO much better, but that won't happen in your sitch, I don't think, until your W feels strong enough to be with you where you don't overpower her."
I look forward to being invited into W's new world. My buddy and I were just talking about this tonight. I always wished she would open up like she has been doing. Just wished she could do it with me. Yes I mean that both ways.
I'm not sure how I could "overpower" her though. Do you say this because I'm more confident than she is?
I also joined a local "Divorce Support" meet up group. We meet up next Tuesday. I just want to learn more, meet some new people, see how it goes.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
) ...plus I've seen his pic! Then again, I know my hot looking W has danced with him, and he is still a man... maybe reason enough for me to offer him a free TKD lesson? 
