All Out of Options

[MyNewStrength]

Okay. H talks too much. he goaded me into another discussion tonight after I got home from work late. He sent me a spreadsheet of the current mortgage costs along with house value and current equity.

I got home at 8 pm from work and of course the first questions was, "did you have a chance to review the spreadsheet I sent?"

I told him that I saw it right before I left work, but I had not had an opportunity to "absorb" the information. (it is month end for me at work and I manage the financial systems, so it is extremely busy through the end of the month).

But he wants to talk about the numbers and so yes I engage, so I guess I asked for his treatment. He spoke to me like I did not understand. But I did, and of course he did not like that I understood because then he could not speak to me like I was 9 years old!!!!

The house value is around $800K and the equity is around $458K, so he split out his part of the equity to be $258 K and the rest as mine. He then tells me that he may not want to waive the $30k he put down on the house in the south because "he is trying to be fair"....yeah right, he lied and cheated, but he is trying to be fair...(I know, sarcastic).

He is being calm and yes, I validated UNTIL he said he was trying to be fair because it would work to my advantage... Well I saw this as being condescending... so against all rules I learned here, I backslid...

I told him that he could not speak to me like I could not understand and that unlike him, I was faithful, loyal, and committed. He was quiet and then said that he could never talk to me because I was always combative...

Well, I did not yell, or call him names (unlike him towards me). I said we were both adults and should begin interacting that way. I said that I was sorry for his unhappiness and if there were something that I could do as his friend (not his wife) to change it, I would do.

He is so frustrating and he DOES not believe that his thinking or actions are wrong!!! He has treated with disrespect and indifference that he feels entitled to do so....

I ended the conversation because I felt as though I did our M and me a disservice in just saying anything or "confronting", but I was exhausted by how he treated me. So if we are done, then we are done, but at least I stood up for myself....no more cake eating or beatings!!!