Guess I belong here now...

[sweetbabyred]

Thanks brobafet for the feedback.

The reason I still hang out with him, at least on occasion, is because I honestly don't think he knows that he's cake eating.

He wants us to be friends and I don't think he knows that the most important part of a marriage is the friendship. The exciting butterflies and hormones don't last forever, especially if you don't work on it.

I asked him what his version of our breakup was the other day and he said, "We still get along and she's a great person, but we're very different people and don't see eye to eye on a lot of things."

I thought this was interesting, because I don't see the point in being involved with someone who's just like me. And most people have differences in their relationships, things that they'll never agree on.

But people in marriages that survive and thrive realize that the bigger picture is more important than a few disagreements.

Fortunately, I'm going to be very busy soon, because xh leaves on Sunday and will be spending more than a week with the woman in Fl. And then the first weekend in October she'll be here with her family and xh and ss will go to the state fair and stay at the apt together.

And if I had too much free time, all of that would drive me crazy.

Instead, I just got rehired back on a project I worked last year, so I'll work fri-sun for the rest of the year on that and I'll be spending five days in Miami for training!

So I'll have a long period where xh and I won't be in the same area, so I won't be able to wonder why he's not calling/seeing me. And if the training is anything like last year's, I'll hardly have a second to myself, let alone to think.

I am still going to be friendly with him, but I'm putting myself first. If I ever want us to be more than friends, I may need to pull away, but I want contact with SS, especially since he'll probably be moving away again near the end of the year.

And as much as I don't like the idea of him dating, he is single now, so we're both free to do so. I just haven't found anyone yet that I'm willing to put before work and school.

Xh's job is in a transition, so he's not doing much until November. He needs to be busy, so I think this fl woman, with her long talks and constant texts, is keeping him entertained. At least she's employed and in her 30s, so she's an improvement over the others.

And I do want him to be happy, even if it's not with me. But this woman is a planner like me (according to xh) and thinks he is too, since they have to plan their meetings weeks in advance, so she'll be in for a shock if she does move here!

I just hope that xh will someday work on his communication and r issues, so that he won't keep reliving the same problems with one woman after another, especially since I think we could have made it if we actually worked on us.