Is there's anything left of everything we had...

[MileHigh]

NQ, we're getting that rain down south of you, too. I'm in upstate NY. We had 90 and rain, but now we're back down to reasonable 70s and rain.

[Not Quitting]

NQ, we're getting that rain down south of you, too. I'm in upstate NY. We had 90 and rain, but now we're back down to reasonable 70s and rain.

And it's only supposed to be 14 (Celsius) tomorrow - big differences from 30+ yesterday and Tuesday.

[Not Quitting]

I have to wonder sometimes just what is going through H's head

H agreed that he needed to tell S13 face to face (or "man to man" as he put it) that he's not moving back home before there's any mention of OW. So what does he do - changes his FB profile picture to one of him and OW. And H is one of S13's FB friends. Go figure! So far, I've managed to keep S13 off FB but I'm not going to be able to keep doing that. His excuse was "he knows I've got a friend, he saw us together or have you forgotten? That's if he remembers.".

We also hadn't told two good mutual friends in the UK about our sitch. They're going to figure something's going on once they see the new profile pic. I decided to message them both and just let them know that H and I have separated, no other details given. At least they'll hear it from one of us rather than having to figure things out for themselves by seeing the new pic.

When I first found out I thought the roller coaster was about to start again , just when it was slowing down , but so far I've been unemotional. I did tell H that if S13 asks if the woman in the photo is a GF I won't lie.

[TryingToDo180]

I think you're doing well so far There's only one thing I have to ask you. What are you doing going to H's FB page in the first place? Wasn't it you who told me I shouldn't keep looking at my H's page? lol. Hope that 2x4 didn't hurt too much

[Not Quitting]

No problem with the 2x4 TTD. I was actually on my son's FB page, not mine - H is no longer on my FB page and doesn't seem to have noticed that yet. S13 had asked me to set him up a new profile picture and that's when I saw H's new picture. So far S13 doesn't seem to have noticed the new picture, but that probably won't last as it is very different from his old one so kind of sticks out.

[TryingToDo180]

Well on this occasion it's a good job you did check

[chasingpavements]

Having to deal with all of this FB stuff is going to be tricky I have a feeling! I think that I will set it up so that I can't see any of my H's posts, not that he posts anything anyway, he is a pretty private person. I have a feeling that anything he does happen to post is going to bother me though! lol.

Honestly, though, I don't know what your H is thinking, posting a photo of him and OW on there.. doesn't he realize that your son will see it before he has even spoken to him? I hope he has his talk soon.

[adinva]

Life will unroll the way it will, whether you're on top of it or managing it or protecting people from it. Your son, if he sees the photo, will feel real feelings about the truth of his family situation and that is not the worst thing in the world. He'll find out later and think he was lied to, or he'll find out now. Your job is to model and teach him how to feel his feelings and cope with them, your job isn't to stay a step ahead of him and keep him protected. That's what I've been told, since I have a 13yo and 15yo boy, and that's what I've been trying to do, even though it is hard. Their dad is who their dad is, not who I wanted them to have for a dad and tried to make everyone believe their dad was.

[TryingToDo180]

I agree adinva My H said he'll have the talk with my son when he saw him but that was two weeks away and I felt he needed to know straight away. I told my son basically that dad had left me as he doesn't love me anymore, but he still loves you (his son). That's all I said, I didn't go into any long explanations I also said to my son, don't blame yourself because I remember when my parents split up I was a rebellious teen and I felt it was all my fault. I carried that guilt around with me for years.

[Not Quitting]

My H was supposed to have the talk last Sunday but didn't. He says he'll do it this weekend. If he doesn't I'm going to. S13 has been reassured often that it's not his fault and that it's not due to anything he did or didn't do, that both his dad and I still love him and always will, but that we just can't live together right now.

Overall, S13 has been really mature about the whole thing and doesn't seem to be overly fazed. He has mentioned not being able to have as many things (yes, he's spoiled, but definitely not allowed to be a brat LOL) as he used to, but I've told him that I'm looking for a better paying job so that I can still buy him stuff once in a while and more importantly so that we can get into our own place instead of living with my dad. I think its been a bit easier on him because the two boys across the treet that he spends a lot of time with have just seen their parents split up, so he knows he's not the only one it's happening to.