Help! I'm so hopeless and devastated...

[peaceSJ]

Thanks, TTD180.
I don't know why it is so hard for me to ignore him. During the past 19 years, he was everything in my life. I don't have any family members here neither closet friends. He was the only person who I can talk to about everything. I loves him, trusted him and relied on him too much. I thought we will be together forever. Now suddenly I am all by myself.
I'm glad that I found this site and thank you all for your support, which make me feel not that alone. I will try to focus more on myself and kids, not him...