"those examples only served to temporarily reinforce the ultimately delusional idea that my marriage could be saved."
This is where you get self deprecating. It wasn't delusional. You wanted to do the right thing which was to save your M. There is no shame in that.
"It was hard to accept, but every situation is unique despite a variety of circumstantial overlaps (primarily there are no children involved to serve as an anchor point). She simply does not want to be married to me"
Yes this is correct.
"and I can't continue to be emotionally harmed by the person that she has become."
And this is the part that you seem to not grasp. You ALLOW yourself to be emotionally harmed by her. That's why you had a hard time detaching. You couldn't seem to sever that tie or put up a barrier for yourself.
"I did everything that I could to try and salvage the relationship, but contrary to your assessment I don't think things were ever salvageable."
I disagree, but that's up to you. It's your sitch.
"She was long gone before I ever had a hint that there was a problem. Maybe I have a lower threshold for emotional abuse than others, but I think that I'm fairly resilient. "
It took 3 years before my sitch even showed ANY signs of improvement. But if you keep allowing yourself to be hurt, then you won't be able to see the situation clearly and see what you can change here and there. Those who succeed are usually the most adaptable ones.
TBH, I think you were extremely disrespectful to those who tried to help you. But if beating up the people who try to help you makes you happy, then it's your choice.
Good luck to you. And I really mean that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
