"Oh and for the record, I saved my marriage and there have been other recent marriages that have been saved. So I don't know where you were looking."
In fact, one of the first articles that I found a year ago was a success story - Laura Munsun's article in the New York Times "Those Aren't Fighting Words, Dear". The problem is, while there are a few examples of marriages that survived (I'm happy for those people), those examples only served to temporarily reinforce the ultimately delusional idea that my marriage could be saved. It was hard to accept, but every situation is unique despite a variety of circumstantial overlaps (primarily there are no children involved to serve as an anchor point). She simply does not want to be married to me and I can't continue to be emotionally harmed by the person that she has become. I did everything that I could to try and salvage the relationship, but contrary to your assessment I don't think things were ever salvageable. She was long gone before I ever had a hint that there was a problem. Maybe I have a lower threshold for emotional abuse than others, but I think that I'm fairly resilient.
I understand that this is a place for people who are focused on using DB to salvage their marriage - and I get that some are "standing" and will continue to do so while their ex-spouses go on to get remarried, have new families, etc. I just don't see that as healthy for me.
It is time to start over. A year may not seem like long to some, or may seem like an eternity to others, but for me it is time - time to take what I've learned and move forward, hopefully with someone who will appreciate the partner that I am capable of being, and who is capable of being an equally caring, committed partner. Tomorrow morning will be an irretrievable ending, but also a new beginning.
____________________________ "In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus
Me:39 WAW:38 M:9 T:19, No Kids EA/PA with co-worker:9/24/12, ILYBINILWY, S:9/25/12 EA/PA ongoing, MC 9/12-12/12 D: 9/13/13
