Oh brother... already running into problems. He wants to work out mostly everything between the 2 of us, to avoid lawyer fees. I know he wants to split everything 50/50 and I do not think he will screw me over. However I asked him to email me his paystub. He put a personal note at the top stating he thinks that overtime should not be split between us. I am going to email him back and state that I am pretty sure that overtime will be split as well, but that the lawyers will let me know. Arg!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Imo, do not budge on using a L...my W wanted to not use a L and I put a big boundary there, saying...:This is too important to all of us, you, me, the kids, to NOT do it correctly", or something like that.
Hang in there!!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I would feel a lot more comfortable if we did use a lawyer, there are so many little things to consider, I am just starting to get into it. Also not sure how it works with separation agreement and all of that, I guess I am about to find out!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
I would feel a lot more comfortable if we did use a lawyer, there are so many little things to consider, I am just starting to get into it. Also not sure how it works with separation agreement and all of that, I guess I am about to find out!
CP, separation agreements in Ontario can be done without L as long as you can both agree on everything - you just need a witness for each signature. There are a few websites on the internet which have free legal templates. My H and I went that route, but we were in full agreement over everything. If you've got the money then definitely go through a lawyer. I did consult with one a few months ago so I already had a lot of the info I needed.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Hug, Hug, CP. I have two kids who're the same age as yours. I can feel how hurtful it is especially when we saw the seperation effects our kids. Is there any way you can delay the process of seperation? So all of you can have more time to adjust, or give your H more time to think over it? Just my 2 cents.
M 18 yrs 5 & 7 yrs old kids H DB in 4/2013 H moved out in 11/2013
CP, I do agree with TSquared. I only did our separation without a lawyer because both H and I had already spoken to lawyers and we both knew our rights and our options. I wouldn't advise you to try but at the same time don't let your H rush you into making any decisions.
Separation will cover things like custody, visitation, child and/or spousal support, division of assets, and things like that. It can be part of a future divorce decree or, like mine, is worded so that it doesn't form part of a divorce - that would mean a new separation agreement would have to be drafted at that time. Your lawyer will advise you which is the best route to go.
Stay strong, keep focusing on yourself and the kids.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Thanks Not Quitting for all of your support.. truly appreciated . I am going to go to my mortgage broker to see if re-financing the house under my name is an option. I am also going to try to get that initial consultation with a lawyer to hopefully answer all of my questions, although I am sure there are many questions I haven't thought of still to come!
I didn't realize that the separation agreement would cover all of those things, good to know though, as I am sure we need to start splitting our incomes soon and figure everything out.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Crazy night last night. I started bawling as H was about to leave for the evening. He seems pretty adamant on leaving. Once he is gone I am certainly not going to try to get him back. Once he leaves, so long, farewell, adieu.
Had a good long cry after he left and was pretty emotional. Called my dad and told him what was going on, he was pretty shocked and we had a good talk. Then called my brother who was also pretty upset.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Do it right. SA is legal, so unless you are well versed in legaleze, get a L, imo.
And though he seems/says doesn't want to screw you, we all have seen too many times even just here where that changes, sometimes dramatically....
I hear ya! I know he says he wants to do everything fairly, but now I am at a point where I need to look after myself and my own well-being (as well as those sweet kiddos!). He knows more about money and investments than I do, and that scares me a bit in dealing with all of this.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
