Is this dropping the rope? Did I make a mistake?

[DFE]

So is this what it means to drop the rope? I came to the realization that things can't go on like this any longer. My H moved out almost a year ago this month. Although he moved back home for a few months he has been gone again since June 24th and this time he didn't say he was coming back. Problem is he kept coming back. He started slow then started coming to stay over every Tuesday. On the couch of course but we would hang out and have fun. I then wouldn't see him all weekend with no word from him.

My kids were in limbo, I was in limbo, and so was he. We work together so the reality of our situation hasn't set in for him. And I was getting confused holding out false hope. I tried having a conversation with him last week about my confusion but he had nothing to add to it. So last night I finally said, in the most compassionate and tearless tone, "I think we need to draw up our separation agreement" He was shocked and said I had just thrown it on him.

The business complicates things but he has agreed to give me the business and leave. With nothing if that's what I choose. So a serious of heartfelt and emotional emails were sent back and forth today. We both love and respect each other tremendously. I am his best friend and he will continue to call me for advice but the fire we once had he doesn't feel is there. And for us to be together we will both have to sacrifice our happiness.

Of course I disagree but I can't argue with him anymore. I think I am surrendering. I told him I love him so much and he means the world to me. He will always be my family. Question is do I just let it all go now? Although I was prepared for his I really wasn't. I had a glimmer of hope that he would beg me to stay with him. That obviously didn't happen. So what do I do now? I feel like it's still not over. How can two people love, respect, and admire each other so much and not be together? Can't we get the fire back? Do I even try to convince him of that? Do I go dark?

I feel like he needed a bolt of lightening to bring him to reality. He said he had known it was coming but was trying to avoid it. He didn't want to face it. Please give me advice. I so desperately need it.