Me 10 months on. Positve agenda.

[T1000]

My reply to T1000, wasn't an emotional outpouring of grief or poor me, but simply a reply about having to do the performance for her each weekend (when T1000 gets the kids). I want to do the performance, but don't get those opportunities.

I have and will continue to accept that the W is not going to contact me and will go back to reading a quote I placed near the computer a while ago. "Whether I worry or not has no effect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go and making changes can".

I need to keep reading that.........but better still.......start believing it and doing it.

I don't feel like it's a performance for me anymore. I'm just me in her presence.

When it was in a way I did and did not want to see her.
No matter how well it went the opportunity for 180's was extremely small and if anything every interaction emotionally set me back. I would be fine mid week. get to W's on the Friday, slight interaction and my head would be full and swirling all weekend.

Not seeing W is hard and seeing W is hard. Just like when a WAS doesn't leave the home it has it's advantages and it's disadvantages.
Your disadvantage is you don't get the opportunity with W, your advantage is you don't have her constantly effecting you up and down.

You can't use your disadvantage but you can use your advantage. It's hard to appreciate it and not want the other that your not getting.


Having decent quotes around is a good idea. My only suggestion is change either the quote or where it is situated to see quite often.
You get so used to seeing it that you stop seeing.