MyPain, I would think you could start to validate his comments when he talks to you like that. Not to say you cannot still stand up for yourself and state you don't want to be spoken to like that. My two cents worth.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Okay, how should I handle today since I totally backslid yesterday?
Do what you did day before yesterday- GAL! Quit worrying about your H and how he's going to react to every little thing. It seems clear from the convo you posted that HE was the instigator. Like you said, you can't win. So don't get drawn into it! Let him throw his little tantrums, you just focus on yourself and your GAL activities.
I also agree with NQ and AS. As someone famous once said, "sh*t happens, get over it!" lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
BTW, MrBond. I made a request to change my DB name to MyNewStrength. I hope that depicts my new direction and focus.
Like the new positive nickname I was thinking of changing mine as well!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Okay all. It looks like the DB admin has approved my new name on the boards. it is now MyNewStrength and denotes the directions I am moving forward with. I hope everyone likes and I thank Everyone for the words of advice and support.
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
Okay all. It looks like the DB admin has approved my new name on the boards. it is now MyNewStrength and denotes the directions I am moving forward with. I hope everyone likes and I thank Everyone for the words of advice and support.
Love it - very positive. Now you just carry on the PMA that should go with that name.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I love it as well Keep up with the PMA, you're doing really well
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Good morning. Thank you TTD, AS, NQ, and HW. I am trying to have a PMA, but I am still having my days and I know that is okay to experience. And while I should not analyze every move he H makes, he CANNOT stop taking about the sep/div. H is still the instigator and wants to talk all the time.
Yesterday at work, I reviewed the numbers on the current house expenses. H is really pushing for me to keep the house, but I am not sure if it is good move for me..
I still need to think about it, but he is not understanding that. I have year end tasks that are going on right now and I know he wants to control want is happening and that I should validate him and his wants. I did last tonight, but I also told him to have good nights' rest, ended the conversation, and went back to bed. (he came to my bedroom door and knocked after I was already in bed - like it was bothering him and him pursuing me about the SEP/DIV)
I hope I did the right thing....
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
