I need some feedback from anyone or everyone who see's this. I am really stuck as to whether I should wish my WAW a simple happy birthday in an email or should I stay dark? The current sitch is she was going to be getting back to me regarding the matter of filing for divorce. 3 weeks later she has yet to contact me and I have been n/c since. I have one trusted vet who has expressed their opinion and I indeed respect it much. If I am detaching lovingly wouldn't it only make sense to at least email a happy birthday or should I continue staying n/c because truthfully I get nothing from her unless I initiate and even then she doesn't give anything much in response. It's 5 months since BD next week on her Bday tuesday. Input will be appreciated....
Thanks,
2old.....wayyyyyyyyyy 2old for this shirt......
Oh and ttd, its another day and all is PMA still!!!!!!!!!!!!
If wife and i were to ever reconcile (and that is doubtful) it would be very difficult for my D to accept her back. She has made that very clear to me....
Yes I know that one well with my parents! Have you read my thread lately or have you been too busy?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Oh and ttd, its another day and all is PMA still!!!!!!!!!!!!
] lol 2old, actually I wasn't going to say anything. You seem more upbeat now and I feel that you've finally got this 180 lark When it was my h's birthday, I sent him a text with just happy birthday on it and a smiley face. He sent me one back that said thank you and a smiley face. This was before I'd even heard of DB/DR etc. I sent him a photo of a novelty cake when me and my son were out and he thought I'd bought it for him! lol. Like I said this was before DB/DR and I used to text him loads! I agree that maybe a simple email with just happy birthday on it will do
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
oh and btw, good to see you back on here with a more positive upbeat attitude Good to see you've not disappeared from the face of the earth!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I am leaning that way TTD. A simple email but,I am still recalling how she totally dissed me on the anniversary 3 weeks ago. I understand how she is supposedly feeling, wants nothing to do with me etc etc. So my question is why should I even bother sending an email saying happy birthday. It will most likely end up with her ignoring it with no thank you per WAS attitude in this case. If I send it and she ignores it then my going dark and n/c has been blown. So the other thought being is not saying anything wont affect her either because of the way she is thinking and treating me. Correct? I hate this crap..
Anyone reading this is free to put up their thoughts. Birthday is not until tuesday....
Thanks GTO, you are right about having no expectations. I needed to be reminded of that. I will probably just say happy bday and nothing else. It just seems right to at least acknowledge her bday whether or not she cares. But, there is also the side of me that says because she doesn't care I should just not say anything and stay n/c...This is a tough call.....
2old, although I initially said you should send her an email with just happy b/day on it, not that you've said that you're trying to maintain n/c and going dark then I take that back I wouldn't send her any email on her birthday. Actually this might make her sit up and take notice as you are doing the complete opposite (180) on what she would expect you to do. She will probably expect you to send her an email with happy birthday on it, but you're going to do a 180 on this. This will surprise her and she MAY contact you after this.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
My W and I have continued to give each other gifts at Christmas and birthdays. Initially I planned to stop that after S, but I discussed it with W last Christmas and was surprised when she said she wanted to exchange gifts. So we still do, even as recently as her bday last month. BUT, like people always say here, no matter what you do, have ZERO expectations. I can give gifts to my W while knowing it's not earning me any brownie points or getting us back together, and I'm OK with that. If you send her an email then do it without expecting a reply. Think of it as a one-way act.
