I'd really been working the mental aspect of letting go, and coming to terms with a divorce. No pressure no expectations either way. Just letting her find herself. I even told her that i'd accepted the fact that she didn't love me, and had realized I just needed to come to terms with that and let her go. I think the big change happened when her friend up and quit on her, and moved 900 miles away. She said when she thinks about it, im really the only person that's ever really been there for her. She knows she'll never find anyone that loves her the way I do.
Yesterday, she said she did love me, that she thought she was going to find some happiness without me these last few months, but its just not happening. She's now just alone with the same feelings because nothing has changed with her, just my changes, which she's so proud of.
We haven't really been dating per say, but I make a gourmet dinner once a week and have her over. Let her pick some exotic meal and I whip it up. I thought we'd almost talked to much about it yesterday and backed off a bit, we'll have another discussion in a day or so. Initially I thought I don't even want to bring up MC, as it just doesn't feel like a real commitment at this point. But any conditions I put on the situation might come off as a control tactic, and im staying away from that topic.
Thus I was thinking about maybe just setting a date for in a few weeks/month. Give her some time to think about it more, heck the both of us for that matter. She's basically asking for help, but I know I cant really help her find herself at this point, that's what she needs to do for herself, but she's been reaching out to me for a few months now. I just need to be supportive in the process. I wish like heck she'd go back and get some IC, as she's still running from several issues outside of our marriage (mainly work). I think she's starting to realize a lot of her unhappiness didn't have so much to do with our marriage as much as all the outside influences.
Hopefully I answered some of the questions presented to me, or at least gave a little more info on the sitch to help garner more accurate advice. I'm beyond confused myself atm, and have a bad history of making an emotional decision, instead of an informed ones. Both my kids say mom is coming out of the fog, I just know she's not back all the way yet.
Thx again for reading, the advice, and all the great support these last 9 months.
