Fly, I have never been in your position (separated), so put more weight on the comments from those who have. However, I repaired my M just as my wife was looking to S. It sounds to me like your W is in the same frame of mind that mine was - still a little fogged, but ready to give the M a genuine try. I think that you have time to take things on your schedule, but I wouldn't wait to long to show your wife that if she wants to invest, then you are ready to also. I would definitely spell out your intentions to her first:
1. You want a great marriage, not a mediocre one. 2. You want a different marriage than you had before, one where you make decisions together. 3. You want a marriage where you both learn to meet each others most important needs. 4. You want a life together where you face things as a team, not independently. 5. You want a marriage where you are honest with one another about everything- feelings included. 6. You both agree to move forward and put the past behind you.
There are more points that you may want to include, but this may help get you started. If she agrees with these points, I would make plans to move back.
Above all, never slip back to your old habits! You will destroy everything if you blow this chance. She must see you are committed to her happiness.
