I've already told you why she sends pictures. She uses them to keep you "conditioned". That is why she has a fight and then send pics of your boys without saying a word.
She tries to make you feel guilty b/c she knows that guilt keeps you coming after the kids.....and that means more free time for her.
I had to look for a doctor to help my baby's needs. We had to travel a long way each time and it cost a lot of money we didn't have. Of couse, like most parents, we were just happy to find a doctor who knew how to help. I will never forget the first thing he told us. Parents often feel guilty when things aren't perfect for their children. Guilt is not a good thing. People use it to pressure others, or to preach their description of "duty". I don't want anyone doing anything for me out of a sense of duty. I don't want my children to feel they have to take care of me, or come see me b/c it is their duty. I hope they do everything out of love.....not guilt.
Don't misunderstand, I do believe we have a duty as parents raising kids, and I believe grown children have a duty to care and help dependent parents. But if we do it for no other reason other than we've been taught that it's our obligation, then IMO a lot of precious value of "giving" of out of our love is lost.
T, don't confuse guilt and love. And remember this, nobody can truly make you feel guilt except YOU. If you allow it, what good is it? If anything, guilt often plants a tiny seed of resentment which steadily grows. We may try to deny it, or ignore it, but it keeps on growing until it turns bitter.
Don't punish yourself when you've gone three or more days without seeing your kids. Don't allow W to punish you for the mess she has caused. You are a good daddy. You are becoming a stronger role model for your boys. Keep up good work.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
