One giant leap forward! - Part 6

[T1000]

Is she sharing a picture of our beautiful boy with me or is she saying "look your missing out". I have no idea.

Sure you do! I tried to tell you last time that if you could hold out, she wouldn't last long before she would holler, "I need a break". She takes more breaks than any mother I've ever heard about. And I'm sorry, but I disagree with your statement of her not working b/c she loves being a mom. She's too eager to get rid of her kids in order to have her "free" time. It would really be hard for her to be in a MR with the father of her children, since it would mean being a full time parent.

Maybe I wasn't clear when I said it, when I said how she loves being a mom that was me repeating what she told me. I know she loves the kids and she loves some of the time she spends with them. It's obvious from her actions for a while that her free time is paramount to her. I have been an option for her for many things and giving her that free time has been one of them.

I'm not saying she doesn't love them or that she's not a good mother. But she is not the only parent that has a child with special needs or that is difficult to keep day in and day out. That is what parents do! But she wants to pick and choose when she wants to parent or not.

Yes she does, I have have facilitated that. She has got very used to her free time.

She uses her own flesh & blood to manipulate you. She knew exactly what she was doing when she threw those anniversary dates at you. Christmas, too. In most places in USA, when a couple are legally S or D, one parent would get Christmas Eve and the other parent would get Christmas Day. Then next year they would swap. Some courts set it up a bit differently, but one parent doesn't get to hog all of the holidays or tell the other parent when they can or can't see their kids. She knows she doesn't do right by you. When she gets mad, she uses the children to punish you.

Once I get financially sorted this is the path I plan to take. Get a schedule drawn up legally so I don't have to put up this BS.
It could mean if she gets them this xmas I might get them next xmas, I don't know.

My guess is that OM2 hasn't gone very well and instead of doing what's right, or even reaching out to you, she tries to make you jealous by bringing up Christmas vacation AGAIN, hoping to pull you back into her webb. Because that is how she operates. But you didn't respond quite like you use to do when you were grabbing at her crumbs. You have grown into a stronger man. You are becoming your own person. You are not bowing down and letting her lead you around by your nose. And it made her mad, so she tried to punish you since you were not happy to eat her LEFT OVERS. I mean seriously, this is all she does. And if you went back to her with your tail between your legs, she would still see other guys and play the same games b/c she doesn't want you bad enough.

I'm not going to even attempt to give her and OM2 any thought towards how it is going. Her reaching out one way or the other doesn't necessarily have any reflection on that, after all she might want that week off after xmas to spend time with OM2.
I think it's a mixture of me being a stronger man but also being fed up of it all.
After OM1 I was still willing to gather crumbs off the floor and be grateful. That isn't happening again.

You keep bringing up how you've had the kids nearly every weekend for 14 months. You are the only one who can change it.

I agree but I do find it hard to not feel guilty.
When I don't see the kids for a week it's very easy for the guilt to get to me. Last time I saw them was last Wednesday. I tried to set up Skype Sunday and Monday but it never happened (W said she had to reset phone on Sunday and Monday it was "too manic").

Once I have drove down there, drove back, spent all weekend with the kids and done the journey there and back again it relieves my guilt completely. 9 days of not seeing them brings it back and W pushing me doesn't help that at all.