2old's comments are spot on. My W was nasty and vindictive for weeks - then I started laughing with friends, going to baseball games, lost 15 pounds, looked good in my old clothes, etc.
Then W started asking where I was going with my buddies, wanted to see my stomach with the lost weight, then, later, came to see me and told me she loved me. We've kind of gone backwards from there, but even after the backwards, I lost 5 more pounds, had a great bonfire, had a football party, and today, W comes and says she wants time to think about things going forward. I had actually told her I was done, and ready to move on to a new chapter in life.
I am detached. I still feel funny in the pit of my stomach sometimes if I imagine the upcoming final divorce papers, but those are just fleeting moments rather than how they used to be all-consuming. Even when W said she wanted to think about some things, I was like "fine, talk to you next week", and I didn't get all giddy. If she blows it, I won't be depressed either.
But it's hard, hard work. I work hard at my job, go to D10's football practices and hang out with parents, I work out hard, I clean and cook - even look up new recipes to try which has worked out great with my kids. I can remember sitting at football practices in the beginning, talking and laughing with friends, when my mind was whirling and I was sick to my stomach - but I just kept going and pressing through.
Finally, I have a best friend - I can call anytime, and vent, and they will bring me back to planet earth. Also, it gets all the emotions out of my head and heart and I'm usually MUCH better.
