Hey, you have commented a couple of times on my thread and since we both have had a hard time "detaching" thought I would say something here. I read the following somewhere here on the boards and it really got my attention,
"It is WHEN the WAW begins to FEEL (notice the word FEEL or FEELINGS) that the BS may not only have let go, but that they MAY (notice the word may) have now lost the BS for good...
The betrayed spouse has their best chance when the wayward stops thinking "how do I get out of this" to..
"did I go too far? what have I done? maybe I have made a mistake"....
Those thoughts CAN NOT enter the WS's mind UNTIL they start to ponder that they may have lost the betrayed spouse.
As long as the WS still thinks you want them back it doesn't matter how much of GAL you do. Part of the GAL that is so important is the part where the WS WONDERS if you are emotionally finished.. finito.. done.. The only way to do that is with NO PRESSURE. NO PURSUIT. NONE.
There are numerous examples of men and women on this site that admit they have gotten a life, but still haven't shown or convinced the WS that maybe, just maybe they have lost you for good. THAT is the key of GAL that opens the door to reconcile. (which is the biggest key the BS doesn't do.)" This really got my attention, the fact is for you and I both, we just dont have any other options but to do exactly this go dark and let the chips fall where they might. I have been dealing with my sitch for 4 and a half months and to be honest with you I'm damn tired..Yes, I love my W but, I know now I and you cannot let our S take us down with them.
I have been doing a whole lot or reading on MLC, depression etc. and honestly most every WAS is suffering from some sort of deficency. Cadet has really helped me to understand this and all we can do is let our WA's go on their journey. There really is no other way and I see that now. Like you it doesn't make me feel any better. But you know something, I am forcing myself to see things for the way they are. And in the end you, me and everyone else will be just fine whatever our outcomes.
Okay lefty, I'm done spouting off lol...I just hope you know you are not alone with the way you feel. It aint gonna be easy but we just gotta do it.....
