i agree totally with the potential big problem with knowing now what they may "be really like" and finding it not something you want in your life after mlc.
me too- but i keep shoving it to the back of my mind and deciding i'll deal with it if the day ever comes. if i don't blow up and disappear before then...
i think you're correct. knowing now allllllll about these guys- more than we ever wanted to know- more than should be there for us to know- it's huge icky issue.
like you- my image of what my m should have been- should have lasted til day i died - and my plan for it to be so - is a huge stumbling block in this all.
i yak away allover town abvout how i feel, etc. trying to find a lable- lately i'm in your boat. no lable- no name- feelings i can't define and usually don't approve of (for me- for my life) yet, here i am.
i'm tryin not to worry about it. perhaps it all really will unfold as it should. perhaps we just are supposed to exist like a plant or an animal- with no plans and no past and no future- idk
i think since there is nothing impelling us to act quickly- no deadline we're missing or nothing pressing for immediacy- it's okay.
(of course, since i'm there also- i would say that, wouldn't I???)
glad you're doing okay -
and being all free & speakin your mind.
i'm my usual edgy self- h comes up here wed- drive up to nj fri to meet aunt's body & maybe drive around a couple days.
i'll be very darn glad to be out of town- i'm soooooooo DONE with this family crappola.
oh well- i don't even have much to say- we're plateau-ing out here- who knows??? maybe it's a good thing.
