I really appreciate your input. It is a very valuable perspective. I realize that calling out a spouse involved in an affair is certainly an option. I have two young boys to consider and I just don't want them to go through the damaging process of their parents splitting up. I would never leave this marriage. It may be taken from me someday, but I won't be the one to walk away. My W on the other hand is in a state that I could have never imagined 10 years ago. I don't know this person.
If there is anything I can do to gradually show her that I can be a better husband and father, I've got to demonstrate that. Words mean nothing. I've tried that. I believe that if I expose the A, it will cause W to become angry, resentful, bitter and take action prematurely.
I need time to mentally prepare for that as well. This is my life, afterall. This is the woman that in my mind, would be the one I would grown old with. Removing that from the equation is alot to consisder.
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
