Ground zero

[brobafet]

Journaling:

I have therapy tonight. I am going to ask my C about homework something that I can do to begin to heal other than writing things out, or talking to others about how I feel. Im working on me but really just maintaining it all. Having my own place helps me not be a couch potato, with the cleaning and wanting my place clean, just another slot on maintaining....Subguy your a genius, I love the maintaining rather than the "Work on You" blech what if I don't want to work on me......what if I just want to be. Right now I just want to be. I want a moment in life where my wife doesn't cross my mind and where I don't get a familiar scent of her and wish she was in my fricken arms!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Work on you, you work on you. Suck it.....I honestly feel like that is the worst thing you can say to someone that comes here.

Hey I'm going to pour my feelings out tell you how I feel. How I can barely make it to work, or how I miss the hell out of my children. How I could so easily hate the woman and be justified for it, but don't, and all you can post to me is "Sounds like you need to work on YOU"

Thanks a-hole thanks. you work on you. I want substance and validation to how I feel. I know others feel like I do and I can read about it but sometimes you want someone to reply to you and give you support. Not just eight words. I wrote six paragraphs and that is all you are going to say to me. I'd rather you tell me you are going to pray for me. Not tell me to work on me. I'm glad you've been through this and you "worked" on you but guess what I'm four months in since bomb drop and working on me is waking up, taking a shower, and making it in to work on time.