I think what Raine was referring to was things that may have happened to her BEFORE your marriage, as said here, typically MLC is generated by seeds planted in childhood, teenage years and young adulthood.

My W even said I could have been the perfect H but she still would have gone through this most likely. Her issues are from her SA in childhood to adolescence, the subsequent emotional abandonment and lack of validation, etc.

We didn't even know about all this until well into married life when memories started, and when her Dad got and died from cancer he said some things that backed up the memories, etc. And she may have other things that I don't know about from before/during marriage that have NOTHING to do with me, good H or not so good. She doesn't know absolutely everything about me, just about everything, but there are still a few things from high school and college that she doesn't. I give her the benefit of the doubt that there are still traumas that she lived through that I am clueless about. But they have NOTHING to do with me. What has to do with me is how I react and support her in resolving all this, and heal, improve and grow myself.

And in my first thread here, I mention the 9mm sitting on my desk, the hotline, so yeah, I get it. I have gotten so much insight, support and yes, criticisms, 2x4's, etc. Hard to take sometimes, but in the end, valuable to my growth and emerging from this better, not bitter and judgmental.

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm