"Something was wrong there. And doesn't matter if you disagree, just as you and Bond disagree. To her, something was wrong. To her, she could feel even more victimized and traumatized than you do. You don't get to judge that. I don't think you realize that what you experienced as a victim very likely parallels what she experienced too."
And just how is it that you have such an amazing degree of insight into a 20-year relationship that you know nothing about? Why is it that people so commonly want to blame the victim? Maybe it is more comfortable to believe that there must have been something the victimized person did to deserve what happened. Maybe that makes people feel like the universe is just and that they are less likely to be broadsided by undeserved tragedy. I was by all accounts an exemplary husband... in fact, she told me so even after her infidelity. Friends and family concur. I was the guy who, when she spilled a gallon of paint in her car and I was in bed sick, dragged myself out of bed to spend hours cleaning it. I was the guy who, when she said she had a bad day at work surprised her with a picnic by the lake. These were things that happened WHILE she was cheating in the weeks leading up to her leaving. No arguments, no contention, no signs, no nothing.
I initially came here looking for answers, and like most, hoping to find examples of couples who survived to bolster my own disbelief regarding what was happening. Then, when I didn't find that, I promised myself that I'd keep posting my entire experience no matter what happened so that the next person like me would be able to potentially gain some insight.
I'm done here. I hope other people going through betrayal and abandonment will find a more supportive environment elsewhere.
____________________________ "In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus
Me:39 WAW:38 M:9 T:19, No Kids EA/PA with co-worker:9/24/12, ILYBINILWY, S:9/25/12 EA/PA ongoing, MC 9/12-12/12 D: 9/13/13
