All Out of Options

[TryingToDo180]

Well done MP I can't believe how quickly you've learnt to lovingly detach and GAL It took me a few months before I finally started 180ing and GALing. Keep up the good work

[peaceSJ]

Hi MyPain, I came to your thread from TTD180. I'm feeling the same pain as you're. I'm new here and cannot give you any valuable advices. Just let you know that you are not alone, and hope you're doing better.

[Not Quitting]

Well done MP.

You're GAL, you're being mysterious. You've caught on a lot quicker than I did.

Keep up the good work.

[MyNewStrength]

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I still have my days, but yesterday, I choose to be happy and enjoy.

Thank you Peace for stopping by. I will read your thread tonight. I am not sure what advice I can pass on, but you are right....we are all in this together..

[Not Quitting]

I am not sure what advice I can pass on, but you are right....we are all in this together..

Hey MP, it's not just what advice you can give. It's also just being there to give support and encouragement. And you'll probably be surprised that you can give advice. It sometimes helps your own sitch by reading and giving advice on someone's thread, as long as you remember to take your own advice when it applies to your sitch as well.

[MyNewStrength]

Well I feel like I took 2 steps back.. Should have stayed out tonight. I let H game me into a conversation tonight. First he says he was tired, but then asks me about money and how much I could afford to take on with the house. I said that I was still reviewing (which I am) but he say it as a stall tactic. I reminded him that I thought we were going to talk on the weekend when we were not both tired from working all day, but then he says I was being argumentative!!! I wasn't yelling, I was not being rude, I just said hey, I thought we were going to have this discussion over the weekend? But he was not having it. He said that this is why he is divorcing me. I did not cry, but was astonished. He said that I cannot have an adult conversation about this.

So unbelievable. He is the child with no concept of being in someone else's shoes, because the NARCISSIST has to be right all of the time!! They have no care about looking through the "other lens". He sees only his view of the world.

So I will no longer talk to him...be Kind in action, but not in voice.

Geeshhh!!!!!

[JayMan]

Meh - "This is why I'm divorcing you" is a passive-aggressive for "It makes me mad that I can't force you into doing what I want".

So then they throw out the old divorce card to try to intimidate you. One thing he got right - you can't have an adult conversation: because H is being a child.

[MyNewStrength]

I agree JonF.

I guess I have to be the "bad" person who is causing his unhappiness. He is not doing anything about it. I haven't even spoken to him in a couple of days except to say hi and had a good time. What gives?

I need to go dark as much as I can and just stay gone; but he will probably say that I am stalling a discussion on the sep agreement. I just wish he would not be an a$$ about it because maybe then we could have a conversation.

What is even more interesting is that he really wants me to keep the house and is "concerned" about if I could afford the bills he pays today. I am not even sure if I want this house....but he "wants me to have it".

There are too many memories and I am finding it hard to make decisions so quickly and on his timeline to avoid his wrath.... I won't ever win against him, will I?

[MyNewStrength]

BTW, MrBond. I made a request to change my DB name to MyNewStrength. I hope that depicts my new direction and focus.

[woody112]

Hang in there, MP. I really think you're doing a great job! I can tell you're getting stronger too.