Next time she says something negative give it right back to her. In your post above, you could have said this (it is not just you that needs fixing, her control issues aren't right!) in a calm but assertive voice:
"Wife, I too have been thinking that our relationship hasn't been working. I didn't want to say anything to make you upset or think that I don't love you. I love you and you are the most important person to me and I want to have a loving, caring, safe, mutually satisfying marriage with you. I am glad you are my wife. The roadmap is a great idea. We should both share our roadmaps together. When you get back from vacation lets schedule a day that we can discuss our roadmaps together, how does tuesday Sept XX at 7:XX sound to you? do you have another date or plan in mind? What do you think we should do and when"
1.) Her making this all your problem is WRONG, Selfish, and it took your ego and self confidence to a majhor low. don't let that happen, it is not attractive/.masculine.
2.) this statement is complimentary, empathetic, and gives her some work to do, not just you.
3.) this also helps you not take all the blame, it will uplift your ego and confidence. say it out loud now, and you will immediately feel better.
"Do what you can With what you have Where you are" - Theo. Roosevelt
