I spoke briefly to W and I's mutual friend (wifes best friend, but we are also very close) last night. She told me that W told her that she'd been "trying" more lately to conjure up sexual feelings.
(Just a note: Things we're good for a while before W started to pull back a few months ago. When I brought up at the time how good things had been she said she'd been "trying".)
There's something about the word "trying" that bothers me. It just seems disingenuous.
I might just need a 2x4 here. I've been wanting her to try for last few months, now she is and I'm still complaining about it.
I suppose she needs to "try" to get her feelings back before they hopefully become genuine.
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The enabling going on between W and her recently separated younger sister still has me very concerned.
I know I have no control over it, I'm just venting.
As a quick recap W sister recently left her husband of 5 years for very similar reasons to W and I's sitch. She just isn't feeling it anymore. She refuses to go to MC. They have two small kids.
A few months ago W had called her sister "brave" for making her decision before she "made a stupid mistake like I did" (referring the EA).
"Brave"? for walking on your husband and two small kids and refusing to go to MC? Some may call that selfish. (I don't offer my opinion to W, I just listen)
Things got a little heated the other day between SIL and H (He's been walking on eggshells for years with her and I think he's had enough.) and she has been doing a bit of cake eating lately.
Anyway, W mentioned it to me the other day, during which she said "its like he's trying to punish her for her feelings". It just shows where my W head is still at. At the beginning of our sitch MIL told W "well, your feelings are your feelings".
To complicate the sitch SIL is married to W best friends brother. (the same best friend I mentioned at beginning of this post). They've all known each other since they were kids. We're basically family. W best friend is not happy about either sitch-ours, and her brothers.
W best friend mentioned that she's seen changes in my W. Hot and cold, distant at times, amongst other things. This feeling has been told to me by many others close to us. I've obviously seen this too, amongst other things.
W just seems to want to spend time with her sister and her parents. She's been partially closed off to everyone else (we have a fairly large group of friends).
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Sorry for the negative tone of my post, just venting
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
