Sorry for the sidebar philosophical discussion, DD. If you can use any of that, great . . . hopefully others that follow your sitch will get some food for thought as well.
I only articulate what worked for me, and I tend to focus on the part of the equation that's NOT being discussed much on someone's thread. Often, that's the "harder stance," as it's pretty much unanimous that GAL, 180s, working on your own changes, etc. are needed in just about every sitch.
Most of my posts articulate some of these stronger stances, like the whole "boundaries" thing, but my own journey to save my marriage was fully consumed by parallel paths: one of a strong legal/financial/boundary stance, the other of consistently working my own changes and living those out in front of my wayward wife.
