Many times, however, the understanding is a gradual thing. You'll be able to see very subtle shifts in your W's behavior that might come up. The important thing is to stay consistent regardless of how and what your W does.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Her (9 pm Monday (just now)): working in SF all week but staying in (home town). Won't be getting in town till around 7. Maybe we could meet up Thursday nite. U have kids this week?
Me: no response yet.
I do have kids (teenagers), but could go out?
Was this her response to me suggesting we go a Week ago? Kind of a slow response.
See my post above. I want to spend time with my w more than anything. So I am not detached enough. Does this mean I shouldn't go? It feels like a game.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
Last time (August 14). We had a good time and things went very well. She pursued more after that. But things fell through. I had less expectations then, because I was pretty convinced before that day things were done between us. She surprised me with the invite. I got hopeful after that meeting. Now I am just confused. I think I could pull off the meeting, but I don't want to seem too available. "Accept some invites, but not all". Well my schedule is such that I could accept most if not all. So if I am not accepting all, I am not accepting just to not be accepting. I do have a life, but it is very flexible right now.
It feels like a game in that she reaches out to me and then disappears. Even if I say yes, her pattern is that something could come up that stops it from happening. She is very busy with her job, but I feel like if she really wanted to see me she would make it happen.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
Her (9 pm Monday (just now)): working in SF all week but staying in (home town). Won't be getting in town till around 7. Maybe we could meet up Thursday nite. U have kids this week?
Me: no response yet.
I do have kids (teenagers), but could go out?
Just tell her Thursday works for you.
Quote:
Was this her response to me suggesting we go a Week ago? Kind of a slow response.
What does it matter? You're overthinking it, just assume it's a very casual let's-be-friends dinner and drop the expectations!
Her (6:45): Darn... Was going to invite you over for pizza and beer.
I have two high school aged kids from my first marriage that live with me 50% of the time. They are occupied with their own stuff on week nights. I can leave them on their own as long as they have been fed. W should know that.
Me (6:50): I need to feed kids but could meet later
She didn't respond. I have never been to her place before. I know the neighborhood she lives in, but don't even know the address. This is all so weird. Why wouldnt she respond?
I guess we are still on for Thursday. Kids are gone then; they go on retreats the last part of this week and weekend, but w would not know that. I only told her I could go on Thursday.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
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