I’ve been reading this book titled Mad Dash by Patricia Gaffney and I think she does a great job of capturing what many of us are experiencing. It is a story of a middle-aged couple in which their only child has left for college and the wife has a mid-life crisis. The parallels of events and behavior between my life, what I’ve read on this forum and the book are eerie.
The book is in the first person, initially of the wife, then later the husband. Since it’s in the first person we get to see what the wife is thinking/feeling, which is all over the place.
For example, there’s a scene where they’re in a restaurant and the W already knows what wine the husband will order, and the predictability repels her. A new relationship would bring the excitment of the unknown, yet here with him, all is known and expected. Throughout the dinner she is alternately repelled by him and attracted to him. I thought to myself here is some of the reason for the 180s. If he did something different, then that would get her curiosity up. We see that she does love him, but she is tired of him too. She is unhappy inside, something is missing from her life and he is being blamed for it. She cannot love him while she is like this. It is the author’s ability to present this thinking without making her seem crazy that I really appreciate.
The W is a successful portrait photographer with her own business. The H is a professor, but at a standstill in his career. She is a free-spirit, seeking adventure. He is fastidious, stereotypical academic type. She leaves him over a small dog that shows up and is almost dead on their doorstep. She moves out to a cabin they have in the country. He, of course, cannot understand what’s going on – it’s not rational. His actions push her further away.
Many things that happen on this forum happen here. They were evidently happily married for 20 years, but suddenly she is unhappy and starts to revise the history, highlighting all the problems and incompatibilities. She sings the praises of a rural handyman who is the exact opposite of her urban academic husband. She makes friends with a girl half her age. She experiences dating vicariously through her divorced friend. She wants to return to school for veterinarian medicine – something she’s never seemingly been interested in!
She also portrays the H as the LBS very well and we see how he reacts to the whole situation. BTW, he does everything wrong so far. He laughed at her about going back to school. He failed to validate her feelings. Etc.
I’m only about 1/3 of the way through the book. If you want a fictional account that is light and humorous of a mid-life crisis and the couple going through it, I recommend this book.
