Not Again?!

[doubledown]

HS:

I realize you were a little "fired up" in your initial post to me. I can appreciate that.

Thanks for your compliments regarding my taking ownership of my faults and contributions to the current state of my M. And also the progress I'm making in transforming myself into a great husband and father.

I clearly understand that there are many pieces to this puzzle that only my W can provide. Unfortunately, she is currently very distracted with her A with this OM. I think the evidence is clear and vast that while a WAS is involved in an A, it's virtually impossible to convince them of anything that has to do with recommitting to their marriage at that time. I think you'll agree that until this infatuation runs its course and there are very clear and plausible reasons to reinvest oneself into rebuilding a marriage that was very dissatisfying, the most advantageous thing I can do is strengthen my cause by demonstrating that I can change and I am a much better alturnative to the OM.

It seems that many WAS admit that while they were caught up in their affairs, they always knew it wouldn't last, but the draw was so strong for relief of their pain and emptiness within their own marriages.

You mentioned that MWD encourages abandoning cheesless tunnels, efforts that don't work. HS, it's only been 64 days since I found out about this A!! And just recently, my wife actually admitted that she is seeng a new husband develop that she doesn't know what to make of. MWD also does not advocate confronting a WAS about their affair.

I'm encouraged by her observation. I'd say that is a positive sign and I'm going to continue to demonstrate those behaviors that are getting her attention.

It's taken 10 years to get where we are. It's got to take more than 64 days to develop into the husband and father my family deserves. I think if I start making demands now, the results would be less than ideal. But when the time comes, I will reread your post and benefit from your experience.

Thanks again.