Me 10 months on. Positve agenda.

[TryingToDo180]

TTD180: both my W and I were forced to go country 3 years ago as part of a compulsory service with the Education Dept. We are about 1000klms away from our home/area we have lived in since 1993. After 3 years we can apply to go back to our original area or a new area. I applied for this, the W didn't. I find out if I get my transfer in 8 days. My W will be here for another year at least. Based on what she told her family since day 1 of BD, she wants to be here for a very long time. Considering we both hated this place right up until the friend came along, it is simply another change in her that I have to accept.

Thanks for putting me right on this now I'm not confused anymore, lol. You W could change her mind though in a year or two and decide to join you. I wouldn't give up all hope of her ever wanting to be near you and especially her boys again.
I think for the WAS, the children seem to come second place. I do find this strange though that a mother would not want to arrange anything with her own sons. Just shows how much of a fog our WAS's are in.
At one stage my H seemed to be missing his son more, but then he decided that work was more important than seeing his son and he didn't see him for 3 weeks. He works for himself, so he can choose whether to work on that day or not! I know money is important to him, but then so is his son! That upsets me more than my current sitch.
I've not commented on the other things that you wrote here because you know that I fully backed your decision to get in touch with your W.