Just friends is OK for now

[Not Quitting]

Yep, you can have coffee at tea. Good thing too because, despite being English by birth and having spent over a decade living and working there, I still can't stand tea.

And as for regional variances - try in-house variances. My dad calls it supper and S13 and I call it dinner - and we live in the same house.

I love my iPhone - lists and calendars - and my wall calendar. I usually have appointments and stuff like that on both the phone and the calendar. Up until January of this year I used to carry one in my purse as well but it kept being pointed out to me that with an iPhone the calendar book was kinda redundant. And, trust me, I'm far more organized at work than I am at home.

[MileHigh]

I know that feeling. I can be quite sloppy at home. But at work, I kept my cube so neat someone once stopped by and said that someone told him my cube was the most organized he'd ever seen. It really helped me concentrate. It was like I couldn't get it under control at home, so I made that effort at work. Of course at home the messes weren't all mine!

I have equal parts neat freak and slop within me and they fight it out. Makes for a lot of inner turmoil!

[TryingToDo180]

lol I know that feeling well At college I have to keep my work station tidy and clean. At home you should see my desk! Papers everywhere! I keep thinking I'll tidy it up one day and sometimes I tidy part of it up. There just seems so much to do at home I get overwhelmed! Yes I know, here's me giving you advice and I'm just as bad, lol.
One thing I do keep on top though is my calendar. I don't know how I would manage without it! Although things that I'm looking forward to, such as my night out next Saturday, I've no need to really put in on my calendar Actually part of the reason I put it on my calendar was so my H would see it up there He often goes to have a look at my calendar to see what I'm up to.

[MileHigh]

So, last night W and I had a great dinner at one of our favorite places (her suggestion for going to dinner), got that Walmart TV return issue sorted, and then watched some TV back here for a while.

Today I spent quite a bit of time helping her sort out an issue with cable/internet provider.

It's good that I know these systems and could trick my way thru the menu using my account and then jumping to customer support. When I tried to use her number, I couldn't get past sales. And, I sweet talked the agents by commiserating about the systems. This guy was all to eager to talk about the problems with the program and how he can't control the notifications, and it causes all kinds of problems between customers and field reps.

Believe me, I know all about that having worked on these back end call center systems and the phone systems for several years. And I've experienced it from the other side as a customer, too. Glad I could put that experience to use. At least I wasn't talking to folks in India (no offense if there's anyone reading this in India or from India!).

All of this has been great practice for me to keep my cool under pressure. I'm doing so much better at it. I'm starting to feel a little more motivated and effective at work, too. I realize that there will be ups and downs and much I can't control in that arena, just like with M and other relationships. Work is (or can be) a long term relationship and will have many good and bad times. To make it work, one has to commit and apply many of the same principles as DBing. I must be doing something right. I've managed to stay in an IT job for 15 yrs with same company, despite more layoffs than I can count.

So... after much consideration, I did decide to send her a modest flower arrangement tomorrow, which is our anniversary. I included a simple message that didn't even mention the anniversary, or use the L word or anything. Just a message about having a great day (even tho it's Monday)

[TryingToDo180]

Hope the flowers go down well I wish my H would get to the point where he is doing oddjobs for me, lol. He keeps saying he'll do them but never gets round it. I suggested today that when he comes round for his coffee and toast in the morning, could he have a look at the door knob and lawn mower. He asked what's wrong with them, but I'd already told him! I didn't say anything though, just repeated what was wrong with them!
I'm thinking of leaving a post it note on the kettle, lol.
Glad you're able to spend social time with your W milehigh You're right about applying the DB principles to other areas of your life. I've already done this with my parents, friends and will do it with college as well
I've just spent an afternoon prettying (is that a word?) up my college folders Just got to put my workbooks in now, lol.

[RosaLinda]

Hi DMR, thanks for checking on me after my surgery! It's nice to see you seeming so much stronger and happier. Have you done anything about finding yourself a car? I think one would help your GAL and PMA so much. 

I was anxious to see what you decided to do about your anniversary tomorrow. The modestly sized boquet sounds perfect, a nice rememberence but not too too pursuing with a mushy card etc. You and I have discussed this, I think you made a great choice. I'll be checking to see her reaction, and your opinion on what I should do about my own anniversary later this month. I am alternating between ignoring it and a casual "happy anniversary H" email depending on our interaction between now and then. Amazingly I did receive an email last Thursday letting me know he'd arrived in Moscow safely and hoping I felt okay after the surgery. 

I DO have an eyepatch! Stylish! Arrrggg to you too DMR!

[Not Quitting]

Glad to hear things are going well between you and your W.

Don't you just love call centres. Don't know about in the US but up here we can request that we speak to someone who is actually located in Canada and they are required to connect to someone else. And out-of-country call centres for sales calls are a way around our national Do Not Call list - unless of course you tell them when they call that your number is on the list.

Happy anniversary tomorrow from one of your DB friends, just in case no one else says it.

[TryingToDo180]

We can request to speak to someone who's from our country as well, but I don't do it as I feel that it may be offensive to the person on the other end of the phone. So I just put up with someone who can't understand me and I can't understand them, lol. Trouble is with me that I'm too sensitive to other people's feelings.
Happy anniversary for tomorrow My last anniversary was just a few days after H had left. I didn't get him a card or anything because I knew it wouldn't have been appreciated. I just did something totally normal on that day and didn't celebrate it at all!

[MileHigh]

Yeah, my W left on her birthday, so I still have her card and gift here. She was completely immersed in angry mode then!

[Not Quitting]

That sounds so much like my H on my birthday. He managed to forget it was my birthday and volunteered to help do the set-up at the town carnival and then went out for drinks with the set-up team afterwards. And the card he left on the table had less affection in it than the one I got from my co-workers.

My anniversary was only a week after BD and as I was unaware of what was coming I'd already bought a card. We didn't do much in terms of going out for our anniversary since the birth of S13 as his birthday is the day after and dinner out two days in a row is just way too expensive.