Update: I’m still on moderation so not sure when this post will show up…the other post from today, I actually wrote on Friday. I gave my H space all Friday and Saturday and then, on Sunday, he actually wanted to spend time with me. Yay!
We had a good afternoon before he left for a poker game at his friend’s house (to which I was smiling and telling him to have fun...a total 180 for me). Now just not to overdo it with the contact on my side of things. I fall back into “old” routines…and that isn’t good! So, I've been keeping myself too busy today to want to text or call him.
FY
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You totally made sense with everything you said…and I can see you really get what I’m talking about on the “Dance”! Lol. I need a sign that says, "Dance On!"
I know some spouses don’t want any contact…but mine does, just on his terms…so your advice helps. And it helps to know that you’ve been at this awhile, and you’re doing okay with it.
RockJC
Yeah, I’d like to know if anyone else has suggestions on boundaries for the “other” phone and texting excessively when I’m around, etc. It does take a mental toll because it’s hard to just ignore it. I definitely need to work on ignoring it, though. But, it is one of the BIGGEST pet peeves I have with him right now. It is completely rude and hateful, especially when he KNOWS I hate it.
NQ
I know (in my mind) that when I don’t comment to him about the other phone and the excessive texting around me, then he gets better and doesn’t do it quite as much and his mood is better….but my heart just gets so ticked off that he’s doing that instead of spending time with our kids or me and it’s hard for me not to react negatively.
And, the whole “K” thing is just so rude! But, I agree, I gotta get over it and just ignore it. I need to be more positive….and I think I need to do better at NO EXPECTATIONS. If he texts me a “K”…well, at least he responded. If I get more than a “K”, then I’ll be happy, too. I am so much more at peace when I let go of those darn expectations!
