Thank you, All. I read your posts too late. So My MIL and SIL already got involved. Too bad :-( But I only repeated what I said to my H before, so hope it is fine. But you guys are right. Now my H may think I am gathering troop to against him. Even my MIL and SIL knew H has OW. They suggested H to go to marriage counselor with me, but I don't know if H will want to go again. So I'm going to see the counselor tommorrow night by myself first to see if the counselor would like to confirm my H to stay in marriage or not. Since it is for sure H has OW but just I don't have enough evidence, should I let my marriage counselor know it?
BTW, H's best friend told him a lot about the cons of divorce and adviced him to rethink about the divorce. My H asked him not to involve this sitch any more, he even told him otherwise they're no longer friends... I think my H is really in MLC... He didn't listen to anybody, even his parents and best friends.
M 18 yrs 5 & 7 yrs old kids H DB in 4/2013 H moved out in 11/2013
He won't listen to anyone at the mo as he's going through the stage where he is just angry at everyone! That's why it's not even worth trying to get others on side as no-one can convince him otherwise. You could mention to your MC that you THINK he's got an OW. You can mention that you have some evidence, but can't prove it as he's not told you outright. If your H won't go with you to MC, do you think it may be better to have IC instead? They will be more sympathetic toward you and your sitch. Just my 2 cents worth I'm interested to hear what everyone else thinks. BTW, if you post a question on here, look at it for any answers first I always do that before I make any rash decisions There's some good people on here that are very knowledgeable and have plenty of good advice and experience
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
So I'm going to see the counselor tommorrow night by myself first to see if the counselor would like to confirm my H to stay in marriage or not.
Ummmm, what? That's not up to your IC. If your IC is telling you whether or not your H should stay in the marriage, then you need to run from that IC ASAP. Your IC should be as pro-marriage as you are.
Originally Posted By: peaceSJ
BTW, H's best friend told him a lot about the cons of divorce and adviced him to rethink about the divorce. My H asked him not to involve this sitch any more, he even told him otherwise they're no longer friends... I think my H is really in MLC... He didn't listen to anybody, even his parents and best friends.
Right, that is why 3 of us advised you not to involve the in-laws. This is typical script for ALL WAS's. You can't use this as a litmus test for MLC, they all do it whether MLC or not.
Help! What should I do next? I just found too much misatkes happened last weekend. Since I told my in-laws and two of my friends, they all talked to my H yesterday. My friend talked to him without letting me know first. Now H may think I let lots of people knew our sitch.
M 18 yrs 5 & 7 yrs old kids H DB in 4/2013 H moved out in 11/2013
You said you read DR, correct? You do understand that it's one of the primary rules. There's nothing you can do about it now. Why did you feel the need to tell them anyway?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Last week I found out the affair, I felt so hurt, and my mind went crazy and so depressed. I totally forgot the rules, and was eager to express my feelings to my closet friend and asked for help :-(
M 18 yrs 5 & 7 yrs old kids H DB in 4/2013 H moved out in 11/2013
Take a deep breath, pick up DR and re-read it. Don't stress too much about the backsliding. It happens to all us from time to time.
If you need to vent, use this forum. If you need advice, use this forum. If you really have to talk to a friend, make sure it's one with absolutely no connection to your H, so that there is no way anything will get back to him.
Stay strong.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I'm interested to hear what everyone else thinks.