This morning, I woke up with a vivid recall of a very brief dream where Ms. Wonka sat on the bed as I was sleeping and I woke up on a bright, sunny day to her smiling face as she sat looking at me.
I don't get this stuff at all. Want to shoo Ms. Wonka away and say don't come back in my dreams again. It feels that having her appear to me in this fashion does a number to my head and heart. Wish this would all go away as I'm trying out new stuff such as joining an online dating service. A very, very attractive woman expressed an interest and will respond when I get back home from the long weekend.
My type is usually the blonde women who fall in the sorority/cheerleader category. This very attractive woman is dark-haired and could be a model if she chooses to be one. I am very, very nervous about this whole dating shebang.
I am so going to live vicariously through you!!! I am so not ready for it...dating. Even though there are a couple of people trying to change my mind on that. I'm still at the beginning of this journey though.
Blonde Cheerleader.... uhh-hum. Hello. RealityTrip, Capt., Varsity Squad. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Not kidding! I know...I just seem too smart for that huh?! lol! But I was. And blonde. Now I feel sooo freakin' old!... because my about to be 40yr old butt couldn't throw a handspring for a million bucks! And I'm going gray!
Oh!!! I needed to laugh at myself... What better place to do that than at Wonka's! I hope somebody brings beer. The Gamecocks vs UNC at 6pm!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Ms. Wonka and I exchanged a few friendly texts over the weekend. I was soo detached that I felt no excitement or anything over these exchanges.
I have shifted inside coupled with the recognition that Ms. Wonka and I are at different places in our lives. Working on the acceptance that there will be no reconciliation ever on the horizon. And that's okay with me. Notice that I did not say "perfectly okay" because I am not quite 100% there yet.
On to other news, the hot sexy gal, Cas, contacted me and we are communicating slowly. At some point, we'll meet for 'coffee' and see where this new friendship goes. It is nice that I am now dipping my toe back in the dating pool once again.
Another good news is that I'm joining a 20/20/20 cardio workout group starting this week. That will run for two months...a great way to meet more people.
The view from grass of detachment is nice isn't it? There is a peace that comes with it that makes it seem crazy that we will would ever go back on our rollercoaster.
Toe dipping is good... but so is doing a cannonball and creating alot of waves!
Keep on Keeping on!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
I'm still at the beginning of this journey though. 
