Appreciate the advice overall. I am considering all of it, even the advice which I argue with.
I have been doing the following:
1. Giving her lots of space and not calling her to talk about personal things. Not calling/emailing her family or friends. 2. Not acting desperate/needy if she calls me, and not trying to bring up things to talk about. 3. A week or two ago when she was spewing I just listened and tried to validate, didn't argue with her version of events. My concern with validating too much is that I might have reinforced some of her beliefs that I don't agree with. I did lapse a week and a half ago and got into an argument with her via text but apologized and backed off. I'm trying to learn not to get into arguments. 4. Going to a counselor to work on my own issues. 5. Promised her I wouldn't swear at her ever in the future no matter what happened. 6. Lowering my expectations and preparing myself for the possibility that this could really be over.
T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old 7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile 7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile 8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers
